Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A thought inspired by Vikas Swarup.

The opener of the book 'The Accidental Apprentice' by Vikas Swarup, which I got from an article about the author reads, "In life you never get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate". I must admit that I got stuck to the lines. It sounded so honest and true.

Though we believe that we will get what we deserve, the fact is that we content our self by consoling that what we have got is what we deserve. The fact is that we get only what we negotiate. I am not sure, but I think it has got something to do with our give and take attitude. Something like, you must love me if you want me to love you;  If you want my love to be unconditional, your love for me should also be unconditional.

I purposely cited the example of love because it has been defined and thought about as the purest form of emotions. I don't think it is practical to demand love on the pretext that I deserve to be loved. I will have to negotiate with the other person to extract from him the emotion which I suppose I deserve. Otherwise, one should be satisfied with what he gives to you. This logic will be true in other matters also.

I think the difference lies in the perception; the perception about what you deserve. For example, having passed an examination with flying colors, you might think that you deserve a gift from your parents while your parents might think that you deserve lots of love and encouragement. So, now, you will have to negotiate with your parents to convince them that you deserve a gift.

Negotiation need not necessarily be a conversation or a discussion of few words, it may actually involve a process including words and deeds that goes through various stages and may stretch to long periods. Just think about getting a job or a promotion or building your own house or getting married. You might all the way be thinking that you deserve all this but actually, you go through a lot of negotiations personally and socially before making it. Once we make it, we are convinced or try to convince our self that we got what we deserved. But the fact is that we got only what we negotiated for.

Note: I have just jotted down the thoughts that occurred to me when I read the sentence. It has no connection whatsoever with the book or the author as such.

No comments: